It's 7:45am and my mom is waking me up for breakfast with her. I roll over and drag myself out of my too-large-for-one-person-but-insanely-comfortable-so-I'm-never-giving-it-up bed and stumble down our delightfully creaky staircase. I fall into one of the wooden chairs around our kitchen table clutching the warm cup of coffee I just made. We sit and talk as natural light floods our yellow kitchen. As she takes off for work I will go off on a run. She drives and I run through our beautiful, wooded neighborhood. After I get back I put my tired body into the shower. I will then get dressed for the day, but not without standing in front of my overly full wardrobe wondering what in the world I am possibly going to wear. Once I've gotten dressed and spent the sufficient and unhealthy amount of time picking apart every visible flaw in the mirror, I may take off for work. I walk down our pathway, petting my dogs as I go, and get in my car. I drive out through our one-lane, country neighborhood and out into our small town. If I don't have work that day, I may lay around our house or get some things accomplished while remaining in a lazy summer haze.
I live such a comfortable life.
This past March was the 60th anniversary of the civil rights march led by Martin Luther King Jr. from Selma, Alabama to Montgomery, Alabama. Last year a movie was released chronicling the efforts of this march. I got to watch it recently. It was one of the most powerful movies I have ever seen. I felt such horror, shame, and amazement as I got to see a mere glimpse of what people have gone through to fight for what they believe in. It can make me ashamed of the comfortable life I live. A life that can become so absent of passion, so empty of fight, and so devoid of growth. In so many ways this is a beautiful life. I have a life full of love, grace, and depth. I have been so blessed. The largest amount of persecution I experience in my life comes often in the form of mere discomfort. Moments where I feel out of place or insecure. They are brief but stay with my consciousness. It can make me fearful of small things. Fearful of little moments where I must be different, little moments where I am highlighted, spotlighted, or simply looked at. This comfortable life can make it easy for me to not only hide but desire to hide. Now the romantic, superficial side of me can look at this and be scared that I won't be remembered. I can become scared that people won't look at me and think that I am going somewhere, doing something, and accomplishing things. However, that is a temporary mindset. I don't want to be remembered for what an impressive human I was. I want to be remembered for a soul full of love and passion because it was full of Christ. I want to do things for Him. I want to spread love and hope and passion everywhere as an extension of the love and hope and passion that comes from my Lord. I am so weak and fearful without it. I want to accomplish something with my life because it was given to me by God, not because I don't want to see it end without anything to show for it. I want to live a full life. A life so full of love, grace, and hope that I must pass it on to others. I don't know and honestly can't imagine how this mission will manifest itself. Overseas, in Hillsborough, in Wilmington, or anywhere else but I hope and pray that it does. I hope and pray that whatever I do in life I will constantly strive to make the mundane into spiritual, the everyday into extraordinary, and the unspiritual moments into moments full of grace.
Friday, May 29, 2015
Friday, May 15, 2015
lessons learned part 2
So as many of you may know, I recently got a job at an ice cream store. This past monday I began working at Maple View Farm. So I figured I would post a more light-hearted list of lessons my first few days have taught me:
1.) I have a serious fear of getting stuck in walk-in freezers. (you couldn't pay me to walk in one of those and close the door)
2.) If I don't quickly learn to scoop ice cream ambidexturously I'm going to end up with a huge right arm and some bad tendonitis.
3.) Trying to shove large amount of ice cream requires much more skill and technique than I ever imagined. (still haven't figured that one out and many poor ice cream cones have been crushed by my overenthusiastic and forceful ice cream arm)
4.) Milk shake machines are obviously bitter about something because if you even tilt the cup the wrong way the entire thing will come shooting right back in your face and leave you looking like an incompetent milkshake making fool.
5.) Don't ever, I repeat EVER, mistake someone's little girl for a boy. (still turn bright red every time I recall that moment)
6.) You physically can't remember more than three ice cream orders at a time so don't even try or else that butter pecan in a sugar cone becomes a mango sorbet in a cup (I can't even figure out how those got mixed up in my mind)
7.) Waffle cone irons are terrifyingly hot.
8.) Tester spoons are extremely small and hard to control so either death grip them or run the risk of them shooting out of your hand at customers.
9.) "Waffle cone" has become my permanent after work perfume.
10.) There is no job like that at an ice cream store with its unique challenges, but there's no job I'd rather have.
So please come visit me! I look forward to getting better at my job and having fewer and fewer freak outs while there.
1.) I have a serious fear of getting stuck in walk-in freezers. (you couldn't pay me to walk in one of those and close the door)
2.) If I don't quickly learn to scoop ice cream ambidexturously I'm going to end up with a huge right arm and some bad tendonitis.
3.) Trying to shove large amount of ice cream requires much more skill and technique than I ever imagined. (still haven't figured that one out and many poor ice cream cones have been crushed by my overenthusiastic and forceful ice cream arm)
4.) Milk shake machines are obviously bitter about something because if you even tilt the cup the wrong way the entire thing will come shooting right back in your face and leave you looking like an incompetent milkshake making fool.
5.) Don't ever, I repeat EVER, mistake someone's little girl for a boy. (still turn bright red every time I recall that moment)
6.) You physically can't remember more than three ice cream orders at a time so don't even try or else that butter pecan in a sugar cone becomes a mango sorbet in a cup (I can't even figure out how those got mixed up in my mind)
7.) Waffle cone irons are terrifyingly hot.
8.) Tester spoons are extremely small and hard to control so either death grip them or run the risk of them shooting out of your hand at customers.
9.) "Waffle cone" has become my permanent after work perfume.
10.) There is no job like that at an ice cream store with its unique challenges, but there's no job I'd rather have.
So please come visit me! I look forward to getting better at my job and having fewer and fewer freak outs while there.
| 6900 Rocky Ridge Rd, Hillsborough, NC 27278
Come see me!
all my ice cream scoopin' love,
~haley grace
|
Monday, May 11, 2015
lessons learned
As my freshman year comes to a close, I wanted to take time to reflect back on the year. About four days ago I packed up my dorm and moved back home to sweet hillsborough. Distancing myself from wilmington has helped bring clarity to different truths, so here are the top five things I learned from freshmen year:
1.) Trust the journey.
Life is just one big journey with its many ups and downs and bends in the road. It is beautiful and painful all at once. It is confusing and surprising. My journey is unpredictable and challenging, just as it should be. Freshmen year was nothing like I thought it would be, but it was everything I needed it to be. This journey is intended to refine me and force me to grow and that it did. As I reflect I realize how necessary every high and low this year was in making me who I am.
2.) Live unapologetically.
I am who I am. Not to say that I am perfect and won't make mistakes, I will. And when I do I will apologize and strive to learn from them. However, I am not going to live life apologizing for the things about me that might be different. I am a follower of Jesus. I love country music. My family is everything to me. Sometimes I can't figure out how I feel. I talk too much. I feel deeply (sometimes too deeply). My emotions can get the best of me. I am an amazing person. I am striving to become more of the person I need to be, but the process won't be perfect. God knows that because he created me. I already have the approval of the one who truly matters and constantly searching for the approval of others is not only pointless, but painful.
3.) Live in the moment.
Cliche, I know, but nonetheless true! Life is full of beautiful moments that you need to be apart of. Sometimes the only thing you need to do is say "yes". And remember that time will fly and you will never regret the moments you decided to jump in that car for the midnight beach trip or go to that concert.
4.) The college bubble.
So you may have never heard this term but I've decided it needs to become a thing. It is real! Going to college I myself got sucked into it. It is, by definition, the feeling that college is all there is and nothing exists outside of your campus. It is a very selfish and immature view, I'll give you that. However, it still manifests itself in many ways: sacrificing your mental health for the sake of schoolwork, or neglecting your old (and awesome) friends for the new college ones, it is the inability to think of life after college and therefore the fact that some consequences of decisions you make now may come post college. For me the college bubble was evident in the way I felt about myself. I started to base my security on college- grades, friends, and how well I fit in. However, college isn't the end-all be-all. Life continues after college. Some of my friends are gonna have a pretty heavy hit when they realize this, especially the consequences that may come from the college bubble. Therefore, I've decided that college is great, but it isn't all there is to life. Keep perspective, friends!
5.) You can go home again.
A final but invaluable lesson. You may no longer live there majority of the year and it may never feel quite the same, but home is still home. It is still a safety net and a comforting meal. Home is a blessing not to be taken lightly. It is your last resort, your first call, and everything in between. Sometimes when everything else is falling apart all it takes is a trip back to this sacred place to put it all back together. So don't ever think you can't go home again.
As I sit on my front porch drinking my coffee with my dogs napping nearby, I can't help but feel yet another chapter in my life is coming to a close. It feels so good to have one year under my belt and I may flatter myself into believing the I am wiser for it. Freshmen year has taught me a lot and I hope I can take my new wisdom into the coming years and continue to grow and live life to the fullest.
your favorite college sophomore,
~haley grace
1.) Trust the journey.
Life is just one big journey with its many ups and downs and bends in the road. It is beautiful and painful all at once. It is confusing and surprising. My journey is unpredictable and challenging, just as it should be. Freshmen year was nothing like I thought it would be, but it was everything I needed it to be. This journey is intended to refine me and force me to grow and that it did. As I reflect I realize how necessary every high and low this year was in making me who I am.
2.) Live unapologetically.
I am who I am. Not to say that I am perfect and won't make mistakes, I will. And when I do I will apologize and strive to learn from them. However, I am not going to live life apologizing for the things about me that might be different. I am a follower of Jesus. I love country music. My family is everything to me. Sometimes I can't figure out how I feel. I talk too much. I feel deeply (sometimes too deeply). My emotions can get the best of me. I am an amazing person. I am striving to become more of the person I need to be, but the process won't be perfect. God knows that because he created me. I already have the approval of the one who truly matters and constantly searching for the approval of others is not only pointless, but painful.
3.) Live in the moment.
Cliche, I know, but nonetheless true! Life is full of beautiful moments that you need to be apart of. Sometimes the only thing you need to do is say "yes". And remember that time will fly and you will never regret the moments you decided to jump in that car for the midnight beach trip or go to that concert.
4.) The college bubble.
So you may have never heard this term but I've decided it needs to become a thing. It is real! Going to college I myself got sucked into it. It is, by definition, the feeling that college is all there is and nothing exists outside of your campus. It is a very selfish and immature view, I'll give you that. However, it still manifests itself in many ways: sacrificing your mental health for the sake of schoolwork, or neglecting your old (and awesome) friends for the new college ones, it is the inability to think of life after college and therefore the fact that some consequences of decisions you make now may come post college. For me the college bubble was evident in the way I felt about myself. I started to base my security on college- grades, friends, and how well I fit in. However, college isn't the end-all be-all. Life continues after college. Some of my friends are gonna have a pretty heavy hit when they realize this, especially the consequences that may come from the college bubble. Therefore, I've decided that college is great, but it isn't all there is to life. Keep perspective, friends!
5.) You can go home again.
A final but invaluable lesson. You may no longer live there majority of the year and it may never feel quite the same, but home is still home. It is still a safety net and a comforting meal. Home is a blessing not to be taken lightly. It is your last resort, your first call, and everything in between. Sometimes when everything else is falling apart all it takes is a trip back to this sacred place to put it all back together. So don't ever think you can't go home again.
As I sit on my front porch drinking my coffee with my dogs napping nearby, I can't help but feel yet another chapter in my life is coming to a close. It feels so good to have one year under my belt and I may flatter myself into believing the I am wiser for it. Freshmen year has taught me a lot and I hope I can take my new wisdom into the coming years and continue to grow and live life to the fullest.
and I am truly going to miss wilmington this summer.
your favorite college sophomore,
~haley grace