in this moment

In this moment, I am insecure. I am doubtful. I am stressed and I am worried. I think too much about my appearance and cry too much about temporary troubles. In this moment, I am imperfect in every way imaginable. But do you want to know what's cool about this moment? In this moment, I have spent one year cleansed and reconciled to God through baptism and the washing away of my sins. In this moment, I have a relationship with the most faithful and wonderful God in all the universe. I am safe and I am secure.
This year has been the biggest and most overwhelming adventure of my entire life. I faced things I never thought I would (and would have been ok if I never had to). I grew in ways I never believed I would. This year was indispensable to my faith. I faced challenges and lost in many ways. But God didn't. He has used this year to teach me and because of that, I am victorious. This year has taught me that I can survive without so many things I thought I couldn't. I learned through all of these ups and downs that God is all I need. I am strong in Him and I am strong enough through his love to face the waves of life that hit me. I am strong enough because He is strong enough. I am so grateful for the year I have gotten to spend in His deep, unshakeable, and unimaginable love. I look forward to this life I get to spend with Him. I look forward to the amazing things He will do through me and the ways in which I will grow. I am so grateful for everyone who has helped me along the way, I don't deserve the love that has been poured out on me. So I want to thank you all.

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

John 16:33

God gives me peace, joy, and security. Making the decision to live in His love is, was, and always will be the best decision I have ever made. I can't wait for the adventures this life will take me on. 

"all that is gold does not glitter..."

alright I know I've quoted Lord of the Rings before but come on the spiritual depth of those books (and movies ;)) is astounding. and I believe that it can be attributed to the fact that Tolkien used to meet and write with C.S. Lewis. That has got to be one of the coolest literary friendships of all time. But in the Fellowship of the Ring, this poem is written:

"All that is gold does not glitter,

Not all those who wander are lost;

The old that is strong does not wither,

Deep roots are not reached by the frost."

This poem is insanely cool, the spiritual meaning behind it blows me away. I think the line "all that is gold does not glitter" is extremely poignant and can also be reversed as "all that glitters is not gold". One of the major lessons I'm learning right now is to not lose perspective. To not place value on things that hold little value in my life and to not devalue the most valuable things in my life. I can so often be blinded by the "glitter" of the world and the appeal of it and it can make me see less value in living a life for God. The last two lines amaze me. I feel like it would be difficult to interpret this as anything besides staying strong in the spiritual battle long into old age. Also, the connection between the first line and the last astounds me. "Deep roots are not touched by the frost" is the solution to keeping perspective in my walk with God. Having roots deep in God's word and deep in my relationship with him is what is going to allow me to not whither in old age. I want to be strong. I want to have wisdom that sees what is truly gold in my life. I don't ever want to be tempted by the pyrite of the world that satan puts in my path. I know where I'm going and I won't change my path for something that just shines in a moment of sunlight. God's gold shines continuously. It shines whether my path is sunny and bright or even if it's gloomy. He is the true gold and the gold that I would give up everything for. 

I also found this super cool image of the quote: 

hello new phone background :)

All my LOTR love,

~haley grace

march madness

wow. can you believe what a negligent blogger I've been? I'm sure my multitude of avid readers have been on the edges of their seats waiting for my next post, and for that I apologize. ;)
so to satisfy your longing for a new post here goes:
March 3, 2015- the eighth month of my freshmen year, the eleventh month of my walk with God, and almost the midterm mark of my second semester. Life is a whirlwind. I am enjoying my life here in wilmington and begging God to go ahead and bring me back the beautiful weather I so love. It has been frigid here, but none of the beautiful snow that those back home are experiencing. I have half a week until spring break and I absolutely can not wait! As it turns out, I am not going to be going on any big adventures for the week but I think God knows exactly what I need and a low-key, relaxing week back home is probably just what the doctor ordered for me. I am overjoyed to get to spend the week with my family- especially my brother who has the same break as me!

alright, alright enough intro and I'll get down to the big stuff:
I started teaching at a middle school. I work in a poetry program through one of my classes here at uncw. I have two students that I am required to fool into thinking that I know even the slightest thing about writing poetry (which is kind of a stretch for me). It has been quite an adventure. They are very sweet and I couldn't have asked for better students, but I am trying to figure out if this is what I want to do. It can be really, really intimidating. This is the class that people usually figure out if they love or hate teaching and I am still floating somewhere out there trying to tell which one I'm feeling. But I am so grateful for the opportunity to see! These are my students:

aren't they precious?

secondly:

I have been reading secure in heart and realized just what a mess I am. A crazy, confused, emotional, insecure mess but its OK! do you hear me? I said that I am OK being the hot mess I am. Or at least I'm starting to get there. I have the most amazing life and even if sometimes it couldn't be further from where I pictured it being, it is exactly what I need. I am learning so much about myself and some things I'm proud of and others not so much, but I'm learning that both aspects of my character are invaluable to my growth as a disciple.  

What else is going on in my life?

Well spring break is in THREE DAYS and I could not be happier (unless of course it was supposed to be warm), but I get to spend a week at home and I am ecstatic! 

Well wilmington is treating me well and I am looking forward to being home for a week. If there is anything you guys (is there a you guys?) want to hear about let me know and I'm happy to share anything!

Love you and can't wait to be back in a couple days!

Dreaming of spring break,

~haley grace

Jesus Is...

So recently I've been challenged multiple times to define who Jesus is to me. I've never taken the time to sit down and define who Jesus is to me and I was pretty appalled by that, after all He is my Lord! Therefore taking the time to articulate exactly who and what He is for me sounded pretty refreshing. So here goes:
Jesus is first and foremost my Lord. He is also my brother, my friend, and the love of my life. He is my all. He is my sanctuary. He is the one I can turn to when my world is falling apart. Jesus is someone who will never judge me. He is my life source. My encourager, my challenger, and my refresher. He helps me face each day new and cleansed. Jesus is everything and more. He fills the deepest desires of my heart, no matter how complex or difficult to understand. He knows what I need when even I don't. He can calm my fears, answer the questions that plague my soul, satisfy my thirst for knowledge, and call me to let these things drive me closer to Him. He is perfect, everlasting, all-knowing. He is a part of my soul that I could not live without. He completes me. He makes me better. He calls me higher. Jesus reminds me that I am apart of something bigger. He tells me each day that I am stronger than I've ever imagined, believed, or dreamt. However, He also reminds me that I am small, insignificant, and weak. He reminds me that I am nothing. I am a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Jesus tells me to look at the ocean, the flowers of the field, the trees of the forest, and the animals that roam the earth and realize the amount and magnitude of life that exists and see that I am apart of all of it. I am not the ruler of it, but simply an inhabitant. But then he puts his arm around my shoulders and says, "But it is for you, all for you. Despite, how small and fragile you are, I have created this for you. I have loved you despite who you are." Jesus is everything I need.

and finally, Jesus is the vine. He refines me and prunes me to be more like him and become more fruitful. He challenges me and adores me. I am the branch. I am alive for His glory and His purpose. I will live only if I remain in Him. He is my life source. I have started to wear this necklace (a gift from my mommy and brother). It is a tree branch (see picture, hopefully you can see it). It is a reminder that I am apart of something that is pure and alive. Everyday. It is my world. My true desire is to remain in the vine and in its protection and love. 

Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

John 15:4-5

year 1, semester 2- we made it!

Happy first day of classes, everyone!!

~haley grace

act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly

At camp this year I had time to think about my hopes and dreams for 2015 as well as reflecting on 2014. Often, I struggle with the whole concept of new years resolutions, probably because if I fall short on them it can be very discouraging Also, I don't think we're limited to one day a year to set goals for our lives and make changes in the way we live. God gives us that opportunity every day! The chance to change and grow is a gift we get every time we wake up!
So instead of setting "resolutions", I like to think of a theme for my new year. This year I want to grow in simply remaining in God. I want to grow in being content and secure in Him alone. Some words I have thought of to grow in are: strong in You, secure in You, happy in You. I have realized that in order to grow and persevere in my own faith I have to be in God and in Him alone. I am excited to see what this year will bring and the ways in which I will grow. This year is going to bring my first anniversary with God and coming into that I want to be strong and on fire for God. I want to be confident in who I am before God coming into my first year celebration with Christ.
To help in this "theme" I have decided to read the book Secure in Heart (and I'm so excited!). I have also picked two theme scriptures:

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

&

"And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."

Micah 6:8

I want to be consistent in God and consistent in growth. I am excited to look to this new year and look to who I am capable being in Christ.

This morning I got to go to breakfast and have a quiet time with my sweet friend, Eunique. It was such a refreshing time of vulnerability and laughter (see picture hehe).

all my new year love,

~haley grace

there's no place I'd rather be {than here in Your love}

This new years I got to spend at one of the most special places on earth, the swamp. I decided to volunteer as a worker with two of my best friends, kalyn and bailey. delaney also came with us but she was a counselor. it was so wonderful to get away from the craziness of life and be still in such a beautiful place. waking up every morning and getting to go and have my quiet time and see so many other people doing the same thing was so cool. It has been a while since I've gotten to spend an extended period of time with so many like-minded people. People who wanted to please God and dedicate this year to him. However, I can't pretend that this adventure was all perfect. Some of our tasks consisted of everything from mopping the bathroom floors at 2 in the morning on new years eve (or day I guess?) to being on dish duty after every meal. It certainly taught me a lot about humility that's for sure.

they had a fancy dinner for new years and these are pictures of me and my best friends in the entire world. 

the title to this blog is the lyrics to one of my favorite worship songs of all time that I learned at camp which is so fitting because in so many ways there is no place I would rather be than at the swamp.