"all we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us."

With all that is going on right now this Lord of the Rings quote seemed quite appropriate. My first semester of college came to a close and I am now back home. Now that in itself is a reason to praise God, besides the fact that it is now one of my favorite times of year... CHRISTMAS. I am so happy to be home and get to spend this wonderful time with my most treasured friends and family. Also, it is my first Christmas spent in a relationship with my amazing Creator. I am so blessed and so happy.
However, with so many things going on I can take for granted one of my most precious gifts- my time. I get to choose how I want to spend it and with whom, but I can often make bad decisions when it comes to my time. I let it slip away, I spend it doing things that are not worthwhile, and I am often not purposeful with it. This Christmas I want to be purposeful with my time and spend it on people who deserve it and need it. I want to be outward focused this Christmas season and love those around me and show that love in the way I spend my time.
This Christmas I am so grateful for the amazing people in my life. The people who make coming home so special and so wonderful. The families and friends that God has put in my life. I can't help but smile when I think of all you wonderful people.

it has been so encouraging to get to see and catch up with some of my wonderful friends. 

Now, this week is packed with people and festivity and I just want to keep sight of what really matters and what is important during this exciting time. So in the words of Taylor Swift, "Here's to the birthday boy, who saved our lives."

Merry Christmas all you lovely people!

~haley grace

my excuse for everything... EXAMS.

so it's been a while since I've posted... it's because of exams.
I may be emotionally unstable for the next two weeks... it's because of exams.
I might not be emotionally and mentally prepared for christmas... it's because of exams.
sorry I started crying when I spilt coffee on myself... it's because of exams.
If I look like I forgot how to dress myself... it's because of exams.

you get the picture right? please don't hold anything against me that happens in the next two weeks because I'm pretending that exams are a valid excuse for all of it (I know it's not).
If anyone wants to send encouragement my way or remind me that I need to stop acting like a psycho here's my exam schedule with a guide on the level of crazy you can expect that day:

Friday the 5th: Weather and Climate Exam; not cumulative but need to do really well so a moderate level of crazy.
Monday the 8th: Math Exam; cumulative and it's math so obviously high levels of crazy.
Tuesday the 9th: Communications Exam; not cumulative so low levels of crazy (hopefully).
Thursday the 11th: History Exam; cumulative and last day to this one is hard to predict BUT I GET TO GO HOME AFTER!!

and for all you people who ask me in the near future how I'm liking college and I say I want to be home it is not because I don't like wilmington because I promise I do, it's simply because it's december and I need and want to be home for all of the festivity!

can't wait to see all of you beautiful people on the flip side!

and here's a pretty accurate description of finals week as told by one of the greatest christmas movies of all time that I may have laughed at hysterically because I'm already losing it:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/lucyh3/exam-week-as-told-by-elf-147h

wish me luck!
~haley grace

happiness, love, and decisions

Recently, I have been slightly out of control (what's new?). I have felt very numb and a little freaked out by that. Now, I hate to say it but I'm not sure this is one of those blog posts where I talk about how crazy I am but at the end it all comes together and is fine. In fact, this might be more of a cry for help in some ways.
I've been getting a lot of bad news lately and sometimes I feel like I can't take much more. I allow myself to feel like I'm drowning and can become overwhelmed by my emotions. I can start to feel very unhappy and become extremely selfish. I didn't have much of an idea where I was going with this blog post when I started but as I think about how "unhappy" I am, I wonder what "happiness" really means. Google defines it as "a mental or emotional state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy."
Personally, I think happiness is a decision. Everyone has good things in their lives. Especially me. I have an amazing family. I have wonderful friends who care deeply about me. I have known more love in my 19 years than some people will know in their entire lives. I have seen amazing things and been amazing places. I have so much good. Sure there's bad, but that's a part of life. I think that happiness is deciding to focus on those good things and accept the bad. When I lose sight of this, that's when I lose sight of the truth and the hope I have.
Lately, I have felt very weak and wondered if I was failing. I wondered if I could do this, live this life, keep fighting, keep loving, and continue to be the best disciple I could be. I talked to my mom and she made it so simple. I can do this, it's a matter of if I want to. When I realized that I have the strength and the ability to continue in this fight because of God, and that I just need to decide that I want to do this I was blown away. God isn't giving up on me and I have to understand that that's because there's nothing I can do to make him do so. His love for me is so immense that I can't fail enough for it to end. Even if I decide to stop loving him, He will never stop loving me.
Now that brings me to point #2. Just like happiness is a decision, so is love. Now on April 13, 2014 I made the decision to love God with all my heart, soul, strength, and mind. This was a decision. And it is a decision every hour of every day. A decision I have to fight for and stand with. A decision I have no intention of ever going back on.
So with all that being said, I guess I'm asking for any encouragement, wisdom, or challenges anyone wants to share with me. How you make the decision to be happy and make the decision to love.

In an effort to focus on the good and decide to be happy here are some great things that have happened recently (some of them may be little, but hey it helps me!):

• I painted my nails perfectly last night.
• I'm drinking an amazing cup of coffee as I write this.
• I know that each day God refreshes me and cleanses me.
• I get to go home this weekend!
• I have an amazing big sister here in wilmington that I get to pour my heart out to without feeling insecure or judged (shoutouts to alexis ann paterson, you are my other half!).
• I cried as I wrote this and that is one of the first times in a long time I have been deeply cut and seen what an amazing life I have and how silly it is to lose sight.
• Some of my most amazing friends are still faithful and give me hope and joy.
• This week is very chill and I don't have much to do! woo!
• I'm listening to Taylor Swift's new album as I write this.

Thank you all for sticking with my crazy, and thanks to you all and to God for the encouragement and joy I am sure I will experience this week and the rest of my life. I am so blessed and so grateful.

In all my craziness and sometimes stupidity (ok a lot of times),

~haley grace

song of the open road

I have decided that whenever I find some writing (poem, song lyrics, quotes, etc.) I am going to put them on this blog so I won't forget. Here's the first:

afoot and light-hearted I take to the open road ,
healthy, free, the world before me,
the long brown path before me leading wherever
       I choose.
henceforth I ask not good-fortune, I myself am good-fortune.
                           -- Walt Whitman, Song of the Open Road

I'm in love with that line, "healthy, free, the world before me..." So cool!

that's all for now,
~haley grace

a lovely reminder

so last night at bible talk we read this scripture and talked about how often it can be mistaken. God isn't saying that everything is going to be easy, but he is saying that in every situation we can have hope. And the hope that God gives us will never disappoint. 

nineteen years young

I hadn't had much time to think about my birthday this year. In fact it snuck up on me a little bit because I had so many other things going on in my life. However, when it was actually my birthday there was such an outpour of love from everyone around me that I felt so encouraged. I hadn't thought about it much but it was exactly what I needed. To be reminded that I'm only 19 and that I am going to have days where I just need to be taken care of and loved. I am so grateful for all of those around me who care so deeply for me and took the time to make sure I felt valued. It was exactly what I needed and my heart is so full.
Lately I've been feeling a lot of pressure to figure out what I want to do with my career, life, time, etc. Recently one of my professors encouraged me to look into earth science as a major and this threw my carefully and meticulously planned out future into a whirlwind. I have been planning for a while to get my degree in Elementary Education with a minor in Spanish and go on to grad school to get my masters in Occupational Therapy. I have always known that I want to pick a career that allows me to help people and that is what teaching was for me. I wanted to minor in Spanish so that I could if not teach in a foreign country, at least teach in an area with a high Spanish-speaking population so I could help provide support to families that may not speak English at home. Also, I never want my knowledge to become obsolete or irrelevant. I really wanted to pick a career that would allow me to continue learning and progressing. That is what Occupational Therapy was for me. I decided that I wanted to work with early intervention in children with Autism and similar disabilities. I heard about the research going into this area and the difference it can make in the severity of children's conditions if you intervene early on in their development. I was always so sure of these things. However, I'm taking a weather and climate class that I found immensely interesting and then when my professor told me I'm actually good at it freaked me out! Now there's another whole realm of possibilities for me to look into. And I am totally stressed out.
Now as I write this and imagine reading it as someone else I can't help but laugh at myself. I am 19 years young and a freshman in college. If there's anything I have it's time. Lately I have been told much to my dismay (shoutout to my mom) that I make problems out of things that aren't even problems yet. And it is true and I am embarrassed. I take the joy out of my life sometimes by worrying about the future and I just can't do that anymore! I keep coming back to this scripture:

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:34

and I can't help but smile because I am convinced that God had me in mind when he says this. Isn't that the truth? Tomorrow has plenty of trouble but I just don't have to worry about that! I can't do that to myself or to God. I need to trust that or else it will destroy me and take every ounce of joy from my life!

at least I know that I want to help people and never stop learning and I know God will guide me to the perfect career and who cares if I'm an Elementary Ed. and Geoscience double major with a minor in Spanish and a master in OT? At least I'll have options ;).

On Halloween our campus ministry volunteered at a trunk or treat in a kinda rough part of wilmington. It reminded me of how much I just adore kids and want to get to make a difference in their lives. At least I know that much, I love kids and I want to do something that allows me to impact people. This is me with one of the cutest little boys ever! and yes I am dressed as a really lame cat and yes those are ears made out of paper and colored with a sharpie. It was a little last minute, what can I say?

the one where I turned 19

It is 12:07 am and I am officially 19! Now this birthday is quite anticlimatic unfortunately, but it is 19. How old does that sound?! I'm not sure how I feel about that. So now I am nineteen and looking forward to being a total birthday diva-princess when I wake up tomorrow... I might even have a crown ;).
Now having that said, there are much more important things going on in my life (I know, I know I'm getting so much older and wiser). This past weekend I got to go to the Campus Ministry Assembly at Hilton Head. It was all the my heart needed and more. I got to be reunited with my best best friends and nothing could have been so encouraging. Getting to step back from my world and realize that all of my friends are going through everything I am and they are still standing gave me so much strength. It was a great time to just refresh my perspective and see the bigger picture. There has been a lot going on in my life lately and in our campus ministry here in wilmington and I have found it really easy to lose focus. I just want to say that I'm grateful for a God who always seeks to reassure me and give me the hope I don't have access to anywhere else.

here are some pictures from the weekend!

 

      

So it is my birthday and I can't wait to celebrate with all my friends here in wilmington but I am sure I will be deeply missing all of my family and friends that don't get to be here with me on this day. Therefore, I want to take a second to thank all of the wonderful people who have made the past 18 birthdays so special, you guys are the best. I can't wait to make new birthday memories with new people and still treasure all the others. 

birthday love,

~haley grace

is life crazy, or is that just me?

What a week. College is in full swing and life is in full swing. Do you ever feel like you're being hit from every angle? Well that was me this week. Two tests, essays, quizzes, and stress. And this weekend we are heading to Hilton Head for a campus retreat so there was also all the prep for that. It's times like these I find it the hardest to hold on to my joy. When I am being pulled in so many different directions, even the things I am excited to do can put a strain on me. Honestly, I think that is exactly how Satan works. There is nothing more depressing than not even enjoying the things you usually love. But the thing is, you are stealing the joy from yourself by giving into this. I think I've been learning a lot about priority. The other day I saw a quote and it was "Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die left undone." Now I know to never trust anything you read on the internet and of course Pablo Picasso may never have said that, but I don't think that makes it any less true. There are so many things I fill my day with that are irrelevant. that don't actually benefit me in any way. Now, mom and dad I promise I'm not swearing off school work or studying ;) but I am saying that a.) I need to be spending time with my God, and b.) I need to put value on the right things. Sure getting 8 hours of sleep is great but not as great as spending time with my sisters. And yes getting every itty bitty assignment I need to get done for the week is great but not as great as spending time with my Creator. Now I'm not going to take it to the extremes I'm just saying that I'm starting to see what matters in my life and who I can truly and fully depend on and that is my God.

So, with that being said I am so looking forward to getting to go to HILTON HEAD this weekend! and getting to spend time with my amazing Creator and just fall back in love with him because there is no one who deserves my love more. I pray that I can enjoy it all and not stress the small stuff. Keep me in your hearts and prayers as I travel on this journey and strive to live for my Father and love my life!
yours always,
~haley grace

me holding on to my joy (cheesy, I know)

and doing what I do best: annoying other people and ruining their artsy pictures ;)

14 days til my birthday!

I couldn't agree more!

six months, one day

My God is amazing, isn't He? He is the most loving, forgiving, powerful, inspiring, challenging, kind, giving, and perfect God. And I am so blessed to have been in an intimate and wonderful relationship with Him for six months and one day. I don't deserve it, but the longer I am a disciple the more I realize that that's the point God has been trying to make to me. His love is so much bigger than what I truly deserve. He has saved me and trusts me and loves me and He deeply desires for me to reciprocate this. This journey has been just that, a journey. One in which I have already faced many obstacles, grown immensely, and learned a lot about myself. It has definitely not been easy (just ask anyone who knows me). I have experienced things that I never thought I would go through and have gone through very defining moments of my character. I can't say I have handled all things with the grace and ease I would have wished to handle them. Just recently Haley's plan for her life took a pretty sharp detour and I had to once again pry the steering wheel from my controlling hands and hand it back to God. I have constantly been reminded along this journey that my plan is not perfect and never will be, only God's is. I am growing in trusting this. I am happy to say that although my faith and conviction has been challenged, I have not wavered. I know there will come a day where I will but I am writing this to remind my future self and you readers that even when we waver, we serve a God who never will. So for the next six months, minus one day, I hope to grow and and learn and become more of the disciple God wants me to be. As each day passes, I only want to continue to seek the truth and never grow tired of going after my relationship with God.
So God, thank you for seeing my true worth and loving me and all my imperfections. I don't deserve it but am so happy for the gift you have given me.
Eternally yours,
~haley grace

a visit to the place that holds my heart

Hillsborough, North Carolina is your typical small, southern town. I don't think I ever truly appreciated it until I left it. With the endless expanses of farmland and all the charm of a small town, it's no wonder I miss it. Going back to my little town is like slipping on your favorite, worn-out, oversized sweater (or the one you stole from your dad). It's warm and welcoming and always familiar. This past weekend, I got to go back and visit thanks to the wonderful invention known as Fall Break. It was a perfectly pleasant and refreshing trip. Hillsborough also holds my heart because it holds my family. I am so grateful for these amazing people who always encourage me and make sure to laugh at me as much as they get the chance to. I have been blessed so much with this goofy, loving, and crazy bunch of people. I always treasure the times I get to talk to my dad and gain from all the wisdom he has to offer. I will never get tired of laughing from his sense of humor and talking about everything from music to the dreams we have for our lives and our faith. As well as the times, I get to spend doing the goofiest things with my big brother. It was such a blessing getting to see him this weekend. I love all of these crazies. From coming home to my favorite meal (spaghetti, I mean c'mon what could be better?) to late night pillow talk with my mom and best friend it was the absolute bees knees. Oh and not to forgot the shopping that was bound to happen! There's nothing like getting the people together who know you better than anyone and getting to laugh and eat and spend time together, so I am just immensely grateful for this absolutely delightful Fall Break.

me and my beautiful and inspiring mama 

I got my hair dyed for the first time... eep!

a little blog makeover

I'm not sure if anyone will notice but I figured I would put it out there that my little blog just had a makeover! This picture is of me at the beach during the summer and I thought it fit the theme of my blog quite nicely! Here is the original photo:

it is taken by the lovely and talented, Lauren Blackwell. :)

true love, true happiness.

Now I suppose it is time for another more serious of blog posts. I know you all have felt long overdue for hearing my deepest thoughts and feelings so here you go:
Yesterday my big sister here in Wilmington, Alexis, asked me if I was truly happy and what makes me happy. So in my usual go-to strategy for figuring things out (which I'm sure I inherit from my mom) I decided to make a list of what makes me happy:
- perfect weather
- little notes and letters
- coffee
- shopping
- good grades
- the beach
- decorating
- reading
- my family

and as I was making this list I came to realize that God was not first. Now of course I launched into complete and total distress. What does this mean? Am I a terrible person? Am I a terrible Christian? Has my relationship with God been so much worse than I thought? But then she encouraged me to think of the happiest day of my life. And as I was thinking about this it was so clear. The happiest, best, most wonderful day of my life was the day I go baptized. I'm not going to lie (mainly because so many people already know this and would totally call me out) I was absolutely terrified. I felt the immensity of this decision very deeply and wanted to make it with all the right motives and at the perfect time. I complicated it so much. I had so many thoughts and feelings and fears running through my mind. What if I don't make it as a disciple? What if I'm not good enough? Or strong enough? Or brave enough? What if it's not the right time? I allowed my heart and mind to be consumed with all these thoughts and fears. However, (yes, there is a good side to this, I promise!) when I would get so worked up about this all I had to do was look to God and state the facts.
- God loves me.
- I love God.
- His Son died for me and my sin and rose again three days later.
and lastly:
- No I cannot do this myself, no I will not make it to the end by myself, no I am not strong/good/brave enough on my own. But that is not what this is about. This is about coming into a relationship with the one person who can make me all those things. The one person who takes me as I am, all my faults and imperfections, and covers me with his Son's blood so that He can look on me with favor.
As I look at the facts and forget all of the feelings satan can so often cloud my mind with, I remember the truth and am once again cut to the heart. I once again see what I realized when I first made the decision to make Jesus Lord of my life, God is true love and true happiness. Is there anything more refreshing?
So yes, Alexis I am truly happy because I am in love with the one person who offers that. But I must make one last disclaimer, no I am not always perfectly joyful and secure but I know that I am learning and growing in that each and every day.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels or demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither heigh nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:38-39

I hope this blog post helps, I know my thoughts can be all over the place so maybe this makes absolutely no sense but it did help me to write it down :)

To end this on a lighter note I'M GOING HOME TODAY! Hurrah for Fall Break! How I ever survived without it in high school, I will never know!

A little countdown for you all:
19 days til my birthday!
75 days til Christmas!

Much love,
~haley grace

p.s. I'm laughing at the calm, normal ending to this absolutely wacko blog post.

Here's some pictures from this week in wilmy:

one of the main fountains on campus was dyed pink for Breast Cancer Awareness month, which I just thought was the coolest.

and here's a very low-quality picture from the beach the other night, but there was a full moon and it was absolutely breath taking.

a lovely visit to death valley

This past weekend I got to visit Clemson with some good friends and see some of my favorite people. I had forgotten how much I missed a.) the rivalry and revelry of a football game, b.) all of my amazing friends, and c.) discovering new places. I can honestly say I fell for the little town of Clemson. It was what movies always painted college towns as being; large, beautiful campuses and quaint downtowns dedicated to the university and all that comes with it. Clemson University has one of the few things my beloved UNCW does not have, a football team. I had not realized how much I missed cheering on a football team and tailgating beforehand. I got my fix this weekend and I am fully satisfied! More importantly than football, however, was the time I got to spend with the Clemson and State campus ministries. These people are so wonderful and encouraged my heart so much. Sometimes God gives you exactly what you need and you didn't even know you needed it. That's what this weekend was for me.
I must add that if you ever get to visit you absolutely MUST go to All In coffee shop. It is something that sprung out of a cozy book. It is just so peaceful, yummy, cute, and everything else a coffee shop should be. And most importantly they had the comfiest couches and tastiest drinks and goodies. I got to spend a few hours in there with some of the sweetest souls I know and I couldn't have imagined anything more perfect.
contentedly yours,
~haley grace

And here are some of my favorite pictures from the weekend:

october... need I say more?

What an amazing month! It is the month that launches us into fall, brings us discount candy, and just so happens to be my birthday month. I expect it to be full of new experiences as I turn the corner towards 19. I am so excited to see where this month takes me and where I'll go from here. October is a wonderful month (I know, I know I'm biased) not just because it is the month in which my birthday falls, but also because it is Breast Cancer Awareness month. I am honored to share this month with all the amazing women who bravely fight this sickness. I pray for you and thank God for those in my life who have fought and survived, you're an inspiration! 

October is going to be a big month because at the end we are having the Campus Ministry Assembly at Hilton Head Island! I am so excited! In preparation for this amazing time I have decided to fast to prepare my heart and mind to get the most out of this time! I am fasting from Netflix and sweets so prayers and advice are much appreciated! 

Now I know I promised you laughter so here is some at my expense. Today I was looking at my blog and the amount of views it has gotten and it said 111! So naturally I freaked out a little bit, until I realized that 93% of them were my own. So no I am not going to achieve fame via my little blog about my freshmen year, but I'm certainly enjoying writing about it and I hope my few faithful readers (you're out there, aren't you?) are enjoying it as well!

All my love and awkwardness,

~haley grace

lazy sundays

There's nothing quite like them, is there? Laying around, avoiding the responsibility the next week will bring, and spending time with those you love. Today was one for the books. The weather in wilmington could not have been more perfect and getting to go to church and spend time with my church family and to top it all off we got to go to the beach for a baptism! Now I've spent the rest of the day lying on the couch, watching one tree hill, eating sandwiches and ice cream, and spending time with my sister, ashley. Some days all seems right with the world.

and when you live in a place this stunning, how could it not?

{change} of seasons

The summer is beginning to fade here in wilmington and fall is settling in. This shift is bringing with it many changes, besides the fading of tan lines, and many new experiences, besides living in a tourist town once all the tourists have gone home. For one, I got sick for the first time since moving to wilmington and I'd like to take this time to thank my mom for putting up with me all those times I was feeling under the weather. You're the best! Second, I took my first midnight beach trip. If you ever need a perspective adjustment I recommend going to the water. As I was standing on the shore wrapped in my favorite flannel and looking out at the massive expanse of sea before me, I realized that I don't always have to know. I don't always need to have all the answers. I may not know all of the creatures that inhabit the depths of the sea, I may not know how far it goes, and I may not know how deep it goes; but there is someone who does. I may not know what this life holds for me, but there is someone who does. And He will always be there to answer those questions that make my heart ache. I am so thankful that I can look to God and know that there are answers to my questions even if I don't know them yet. So if you think you need questions answered go to the shore at night and stand there looking out at the darkness that seems to go on forever and feel the peace that comes with standing next to something so immensely bigger than you. Revel in the peace that comes with feeling small and insignificant. It makes you realize that even if you are, God is still God and he most definitely still cares about you.
Always,
~haley grace

a little bit about me!

My name is haley grace strong and I am originally from Hillsborough, North Carolina. I just recently moved to Wilmington to attend college at UNCW and study elementary education. I am a lover of small towns, summer nights, the beach, kids, anything pumpkin, and most of all Jesus. I decided to start blogging my freshmen year of college and all of the adventures I'm sure will come with it. My posts, I can assure you, will be full of love, laughter, and lots of awkwardness. I'd love for you to read about my journey and experience all the joy and newness of my freshmen year with me! Happy reading!
~haley grace

me in my happy place