nineteen years young

I hadn't had much time to think about my birthday this year. In fact it snuck up on me a little bit because I had so many other things going on in my life. However, when it was actually my birthday there was such an outpour of love from everyone around me that I felt so encouraged. I hadn't thought about it much but it was exactly what I needed. To be reminded that I'm only 19 and that I am going to have days where I just need to be taken care of and loved. I am so grateful for all of those around me who care so deeply for me and took the time to make sure I felt valued. It was exactly what I needed and my heart is so full.
Lately I've been feeling a lot of pressure to figure out what I want to do with my career, life, time, etc. Recently one of my professors encouraged me to look into earth science as a major and this threw my carefully and meticulously planned out future into a whirlwind. I have been planning for a while to get my degree in Elementary Education with a minor in Spanish and go on to grad school to get my masters in Occupational Therapy. I have always known that I want to pick a career that allows me to help people and that is what teaching was for me. I wanted to minor in Spanish so that I could if not teach in a foreign country, at least teach in an area with a high Spanish-speaking population so I could help provide support to families that may not speak English at home. Also, I never want my knowledge to become obsolete or irrelevant. I really wanted to pick a career that would allow me to continue learning and progressing. That is what Occupational Therapy was for me. I decided that I wanted to work with early intervention in children with Autism and similar disabilities. I heard about the research going into this area and the difference it can make in the severity of children's conditions if you intervene early on in their development. I was always so sure of these things. However, I'm taking a weather and climate class that I found immensely interesting and then when my professor told me I'm actually good at it freaked me out! Now there's another whole realm of possibilities for me to look into. And I am totally stressed out.
Now as I write this and imagine reading it as someone else I can't help but laugh at myself. I am 19 years young and a freshman in college. If there's anything I have it's time. Lately I have been told much to my dismay (shoutout to my mom) that I make problems out of things that aren't even problems yet. And it is true and I am embarrassed. I take the joy out of my life sometimes by worrying about the future and I just can't do that anymore! I keep coming back to this scripture:

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:34

and I can't help but smile because I am convinced that God had me in mind when he says this. Isn't that the truth? Tomorrow has plenty of trouble but I just don't have to worry about that! I can't do that to myself or to God. I need to trust that or else it will destroy me and take every ounce of joy from my life!

at least I know that I want to help people and never stop learning and I know God will guide me to the perfect career and who cares if I'm an Elementary Ed. and Geoscience double major with a minor in Spanish and a master in OT? At least I'll have options ;).

On Halloween our campus ministry volunteered at a trunk or treat in a kinda rough part of wilmington. It reminded me of how much I just adore kids and want to get to make a difference in their lives. At least I know that much, I love kids and I want to do something that allows me to impact people. This is me with one of the cutest little boys ever! and yes I am dressed as a really lame cat and yes those are ears made out of paper and colored with a sharpie. It was a little last minute, what can I say?